4:00 p.m.||||2002-11-14
Oh my oh my oh my. Did you know that Getty images, while ruling, is SO expensive as to strike the fear of death in my heart? Yes!
So, I'm doing an extensive search of free, and by that I mean, FREE, graphics. I've been at it for hours. Very soon I am about to build my own digital catlogue of this, my fair city, as well as fair fruits and vegetables, to use in my stuff so I can copyright everything to my own damn self.
Perhaps you are thinking so what?
Can't say I blame you.
Anyhow, soon I will be linking to stuff I've done in the hopes of commissioning new work, and by that I mean practise.
3:10 p.m.||||2002-11-14
ggg
3:35 p.m.||||2002-11-12
I have come up in Google searches for "no money, no job, depressed", "Tina Fey", "Brittney's boobs", ...."Frida Kahlo"..."three chord songs" - and I don't recall the rest, but they have been pretty amusing lately. I am sure people leave disappointed all the time.
The class has started and is going to be very motivating and cool - too bad people are getting laid off right and left these days.
I am distracted by the fact that Josh is downstairs throwing about his fifth fit today - Dave sounds morose.
Johs is becoming an expert kisser, in other news, as well as a decent giver of very warm hugs. He knows he's got that certain something - it's hilarious. He also gives his toys kisses and if you say "this" you will also get a "kiss".
I'm trying to pull together a web site for Dave's band that he joined: "Bathhouse Betty".
Oh and "pharyngitus", "whiskey in the jar", and "tongue + health". And here's the fun fun part - each of these new folks hung around for more than six or seven pages a piece. Google is casting me as a kind of misunderstood, alcoholic, musical artistic loser. Nooooo.
I am misunderstood, though. I want to show you guys some stuff a lil later.
Oh, Dave's mother left for Seattle today to help his sister give birth. Hopefully. We all know first babies go long.
There are only three people in my class. :) Two older gentlemen and me. It's amoosing.
I do ramble. Sorry.
2:44 p.m.||||2002-11-11
This is driving me nuts - I can' read any diaries 'cause the server is wack.
Tonight my class starts...I feel a bit queasy.
4:08 p.m.||||2002-11-07
Alrighty then - let's just see what this nifty new spell checker will do. If it's cool I'll put up the link - apparently it spell checks text boxes.
Quick - webcam! - that is if you're on while I'm on - I don't like the look of this thing, really, but it has been sitting around a while in my system and I found archive shots from last spring - in the old ghetto apartment.
Ok, folks, it's official - this spell checker works grrrrreat!Spell checker.
12:15 p.m.||||2002-11-07
What Office Space character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
11:59 p.m.||||2002-11-04
I'm really sorry.
I need something to moderate my moods. I'm not even sure what happened last night other than I barraged people with e-mail. Actually just one.
I remember thinking at one point, this is it, I have finally snapped - this is what a break with reality feels like. I called Harry and said some things, pretty sure I cried. Then I couldn't remember who was home and who wasn't - I thought Dave was downstairs with Josh or it was his mom, possibly both, and I couldn't remember if they knew I flipped out - don't think so - I was sitting in my room alone for a long time - and I was afraid to go back downstairs.
Anyway.
I have been having a lot of weird things happening physically, lately, like these little butterfly heart jumping issues. I have heard that that particular symptom can start in your thirties as an onset of premenopause. For many weeks now, every night, usually as I sit and watch television, my heart just kinda jumps around. It's annoying and scary.
And my IBS is outta control right now. And I really do feel friendless, but that's a local issue, and an age problem, not a denial that I know lots of very cool supportive people, albeit never having met them in person. Which, by the way, sucks. And it also sucks haivng good friends who don't live here anymore. And it sucks having another friend who does but - I dunno - doesn't love me like he used to. Doesn't need me for anything. So, lat night was self indulgent as hell, but also my mind is in a weird, and I admit, potentially dangerous place right now. If anyone has a backorder of Paxil they'd like to share with uninsured me....hahaha.
Anyway,
yours in fond embarassment
8:42 p.m.||||2002-11-04
I'm listening to a mix of Liz Phair, the Last Bastards ( Gene's band), Outkast, the Strokes and other unmatching, bizarre-on-a-mix-tape stuff, tears in my eyes from Liz's cover of "beginning to see the light", thinking, yes, that describes my spiritual stasis pretty well.
Just that sad song, is all. This cd actually doesn't hold together that well thematically.
Ummm. Oh I know - I came back to fix a link and to to to plug a band.
7:16 p.m.||||2002-11-04
So I'm'a halfta kick dat gurl in da ass.
Just kidding. So so so kidding. But I swear - if anyone ever says make me a "blog" again, I'll be all like "sleep on it". I love you gurl dont think otherwise. My gurl, whose shit I redesigned only to hear her say "Oh no you di'int!"It rules though, huh? And and and I'm redoing Lazy's (Lazy) with some glass-blowing shit.
Hehehe. Just a shout out to those of you who like internal scrolls - they don't work in Opera - so quit loving them.
I've been in a rotten mood for two months and quite frankly, I wish I could work already at a job doing html, among other shit, so that I could get PAID to feed my fucking family. My next class, and first, since the first two I paid for were reimbursed to me after they were cancelled (for those of you just tuning in...), starts next month.
Oh, did I tell you that my latest car repair was almost a thousand bucks? And I'm thinking, yeah, some janitorial job should tide me over.
I refuse to waitress again. I can't type for shit - so - no office jobs. I live in the armpit of the Midwest - no, not Gary Indiana but close - and I am overqualified and underqualified simultaneuously for nearly every job I can thing of.
Dave's, um, job is not going well.
I've been drinking kind of a lot lately.
Now that I got off my weird trip about learning PHP in a day to have an automated form that I can puke out in a day so that nobody will take templates anyway and I'll still feel like killing myself, I have actually been making templates and learning a lot more about stuff - like transparency - and inadequacy.
For all of you who might be tuning in to find out how my tiny son is faring, well, I apologize, 'cause I am so busy trying to understand him and keep up with him, that I am at a loss for words, most days. When I come here, to my online place, it's like I want to talk about anything else. One of these days I 'll file the development report - he does really rock in only the way a small, new to this evil world, inncocent of future disappointments, child can. And yes, the bee pictures are coming soon.
Anyhoo.
She's back - thank GOD!
3:23 p.m.||||2002-10-31
So, as you can see, I have been busy. Those of you who know I change templates compulsively will know what I mean - the rest of you will be confused.
I got so far into this one that I became committed to it....I think I like it.
Tonight is Halloween for tots at the house of a friend's parents. Josh will be a bee.
I'll take photos and put 'em up.
I have to go change a crappy diaper.
Later.
10:51 pm||||Tuesday, Oct. 29, 2002
Diaryland Trading Cards!
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mckay68 |
Description: Not so much a malcontent as dressed in plaid.
Strengths: I'll have to get back to you...
Weaknesses: Procrastination.
Special Skills: Competence.
Weapons: Ascerbic wit with Piscean complacency.
Motto: There but for the grace of God go I.