1:55 p.m.||||2003-05-05
Wow, I have been a super-crappy up-dater for some time now... sorry, Charlies. I make time to read, but that's it, and wish I could recapture the amazing two second insights I sometimes have while taking sunshine breaks in the back yard, but alas, such thoughts are fleeting, like all those unrecorded arias...haha.
Josh IS asleep and I came in to briefly check the updates of one of my favorite fellow mamas who's been offline for more than two months. I could have written the exact moment she returned but I didn't, because I am not insane. It's funny how you miss people. I'd link her but she's one of those who's had to move several times for privacy reasons so I won't.
It's funny - the same six or seven people (?) who were my favorites back in Josh's infancy are still the ones I rely on in some weird, almost visceral, sort of fantastic way.
I have been hand-sewing and really really digging it.
Preface: last weekend I spent a long time at my mom's customizing a padded, painted, decorated with letters and covered with a robot-design cloth, bookshelf for Josh, when he's over, and in order to essentially pad what were the unfinished raw edges - sharp - so that he wouldn't take out an eye.
This made me feel creative.
So...I went thrift-store shopping at some point and in addition to some cool new things for Josh (plastic stand alone mailbox, and sturdy activity desk with storage), I got two new dresses, two wrap-around skirts, one pleated skirt and a top. And flip-flops. And other backless shoes.
I had to alter one of the wrap-arounds...and because my sewing machine is in storage, I did it by hand.
So then, I altered a cuff on these pants - said cuff being like ten inches too wide anyway, and underside of said cuff shredded and destroyed by one or all of the six cats who live in our basement, where the pants were innocently hanging to dry.
While I was in the process of repeat ironings and having to redo one whole hem because I mis-measured, I thought of my red plaid dress that I like - the first thing I bought the spring after Josh arrived. Needed to be let out - and probably taken in. I have patience like the devil for sewing many teeny stiches and if it weren't about to get hot I'd figure out something to knit.
Looking at the roots of the flowering tree out back, I recently decided that when I can affored to buy conte crayon and pencils, I will need to start drawing again.
1:42 p.m.||||2003-04-28
I am in here (b-room), hiding out whilst Josh trails off to sleepynapdom, slurping his bottle, probably fighting a strong instinct to spit it and dribble it - oh I do hear him. Doggone it. He is soooo ready for it and I have to use to bathroom but if I go out now I have to pass by and it's over.
Past the psycho super-loud bird.
What to do.
I intend to be back later to attempt an entry.
3:54 p.m.||||2003-04-20
It's Easter - there are five lil baskets waiten for the chillen to arrive - in about an hour, fifty freakin' relatives arrive, bringing all their accordant selves. Ha.
I'm sitting here with a head full of dye, wondering what to wear, happy that I have sequestered beer.
Happy Easter.
PS for some reason Dave is so stressed out as to be almost unrecognizeable.
Yay.
3:47 p.m.||||2003-04-16
3:06 p.m.||||2003-04-16
Alan, if you don't come back, who's going to help me realize my dream of covering tradional folk, mixing it with ambient (is that even possible? Let's ask Beck), and then covering mainstream doo-wop girl songs from the late fifties?
Earlier Gene told me he had a crush on Alison Krauss - thats' the dreamy shit of which I speak.
Hers is the part I tend toward in her cover of the aforementioned I'll Fly Away, with Gillian Welsh. Mine is the higher range in Freakwater as well. Hmmmmph.
I need strings.
Josh is getting to the age where he can sit and be sung a song without trying to fuck shit up. Hallelujah. I mean to say.
In other news, Dave is about to be employed again and we are probably going to get up out of this beotch later this summer. I realize that my journalling has gone steadily downhill since being here, and probably because living in a house not my own has sucked some of the ife right outta me. Also, it has been winter.
I'm going to go collect some pictures to post.
2:48 p.m.||||2003-04-16
I'm trying to find the sheet music to "I'll Fly Away" - the gospel hymn? - and I found the lyrics, but there's no such thing as a free sheet music lunch.
I only have three strings on my guitar right now, anyway. I know this song is as standard as they come, but man, I'm such an amateur....In order to perform this song I will definitely have to stop crying every time I hear it. I haveno idea why it affects me so much. Perhaps I am retarded.
Little known facts - I love the roots of r & b, gospel, folk, slave hymnals, the works. This is funny and ironic even to me. From New Wave to Punk to every other fucking thing back to the practical folk of all countries. I like jazz, too, ezpecially Brazillian, with it's little hoots and whirfles.
Have you ever listened to the songs of James Browns early career - before he beame the Godfather of Funk? I know I mention it every so often...and of course, then, you would understand why early Beck is my favorite. And of course, why I love Freakwater.
And then again, reggae.
But really, the barebones early American gospel just KILLS me, I swear. Brings me right back to "The Grapes of Wrath" - did I ever tell you that the summer, the day, I really, really discovered Woody Guthrie, I had to throw myself down on my bed and sob??? Thank you, Alan, it was because of you I went to the library that day.
Some glad morning when this life is o'er, I'll fly away;
To a home on God's celestial shore, I'll fly away (I'll fly away).
Chorus
I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).
When the shadows of this life have gone, I'll fly away;
Like a bird from prison bars has flown, I'll fly away (I'll fly away).
Chorus
I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).
Just a few more weary days and then, I'll fly away;
To a land where joy shall never end, I'll fly away (I'll fly away). .
Chorus
1:23 p.m.||||2003-04-16
Josh's second birthday is coming up next month - I really cannot believe how much he has grown...cliche or not.
I plan to get back on track with this journal very soon. I have been tremendously busy trying to cope creatively outside the shiny screen, so much so that I have sort of lost interest, except that I still read all your updates, and this weather very nostalgically reminds me of the ghetto, and when Josh was five or six months old, and beginning his addiction to Baby Einstein, and although I complained then as I do now, so many things felt possible.
3:52 p.m.||||2003-04-15
As you can see, I am spring-cleaning. Time for my cigarette break.