7:47 a.m.||||2004-09-22
Haha - this is amusing...this morning I was getting ready and putting in my contacts - opened the right vial to take out the right one and couldn't find it. Spent fifteen minutes looking on the floor, in the sink, on the counter tops....hmmmph. I'm thinking, the right one irritated my eye all day any way, to the point where my vision seemed blurry this morning, maybe I shouldn't be wearing it anyway. I gave up and was onto something else when it dawned on my to check my eye. Voila! The missing contact. That's what I get for my hectic running around yesterday.
I got a call from a lady from a meeting who basically invited me to join their recovery posse. I also ran into another woman I'd noticed at last night's meeting and got her number. How cool. I don't feel like as much a feak suddenly....still need a sponsor. This woman who called seems interested partly because her son's in rehab at 19 due to some of the issues I have....and that part is foreign to her. The thought that I could have anything to offer anyone else is kind of new to me. I am geared toward actually work the program this time instead of loitering on the periphere and it's like God has decided to relieve a little of my lonliness.
Anyway. Gotta go do the 8 hour grind. Man, if only I had done this spiritual seeking more consistently back when I didn't have a fulltime job. (I'd have a year now....sigh)
God is good and the world, though corrupt and poisonous and often full of sin, is so good.
That's why I need God, because of sin. Even before I believed in him, I believed in sin.
I keep thinking about John Locke (I thnk it was him) saying "life is ugly, brutish and short".
It is, when unreconciled with the purpose God has for each of us.
That is so different from what I thought even five years ago.
Yay.
....Just a side note, since his cancer my Dad joined a Methodist church and has made a place for it in his life. I cannot believe I grew up with at least one parent who all along believed in God. And there I was, telling God, I will believe in you if, when I get up tomorrow, there are five hundred chocolate bars in my closet. (Haha....God, send me a sign!!!)
I love you guys. My road rise to meet you!