2:38 p.m.||||2001-10-31
.....oh I want to go out tonight, I do, I've been lying when I said I didn't - dammit.
No car. No money. No babysitter.
My friend's chick band is playing and they're something, especially on Halloween, I want to go see. If I go out alone, it will mean d. will possibly be home either fuming or worrying that I'm doing something untowards. No reason to suspect that I would, it's just something he does. Actually he struggles with it. I'm not really even the object in that scenario...they're his ghosts...he's even said so.
So.
I haven't been out of the house at all since Sunday. At all. At all.
I wish, I wish, I hope.
I managed to eat lunch today. I managed to start a blog today. I managed to stay awake and on the computer during each of the baby's naps and my eyes hurt but I can't stop because there is simply nothing else to do unless I want to clean or watch soaps or take a nap or try to think of one single book here I haven't read at least twice already.
The nap is winning.
..